Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
