she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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