32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
