Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
