I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
