better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
