Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
