Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize