Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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