i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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