Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it because I queefed?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
