you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
