so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
