She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
