Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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