Who did Billy Mays play for?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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