you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
