Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
