I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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