I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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