why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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