Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am naked and annoyed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
