That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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