there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
