Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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