You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
