Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
