i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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