Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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