They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
