And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
