ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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