I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm getting married
To pizza
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
