i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
