Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
