your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
