I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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