I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
