I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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