So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
