Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
