Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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