lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
