if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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