Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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