You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
