I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sext me about skeletons
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
