I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
