If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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