some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
