Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
