I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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