yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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