I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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