It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
