i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
