i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
