Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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