Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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