Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
