And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
