I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
