just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
