Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
