That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
