More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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