how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
