also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
