So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
