yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
