literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In other news, I just burned my penis
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
