I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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