omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
