can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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