im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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