I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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