please come you make the beer taste better
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
