I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
