I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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