i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
