last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
