the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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