This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
