just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
