24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
