You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
