well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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