Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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